The days of the working week are so dull and uneventful I struggle to remember them after a mere 48 hours. It probably has to do with the fact that it's dark outside at 5pm, so the day feels like it has already ended and we are just gearing up for dinner and bed right away. I will never stop hating the clock changes that precipitate this on us; remember that we were supposed to get rid of this shit in the EU before the pandemic destroyed those plans. Now the excuse is that the EU doesn't have time to discuss the topic further because it's busy otherwise; endless genuine or manufactured "emergencies" is how bureaucracies dictate the agenda. How about "fuck that"? To be honest, I suspect ending this clock fudging madness would do more people more good than yet another discussion about the budget for supporting the already doomed war effort in Ukraine.
There has finally been a real lasting break in the streak of terrible weather. For the first time since June a high pressure zone has been hovering over the Atlantic long enough for us to enjoy some sunshine (although the occasional rain sneaks through). It is nice to walk outside without the constant threat of rain; the temperatures have dropped significantly, which means we have had some very crisp winter-like mornings.
Last saturday we went to P.'s place for dinner, along with a few others. He'd been organising it monomaniacally for the entire week. We were a little late because the place was further away than we thought. When we got in we were greeted by a massive spread of cured meats, cheeses, breads, crackers, dips and more - definitely a lot more than we could possibly have had, even though there were 9 of us. It would have easily fed a small conference. I did not expect this but there were 3 people I didn't know among the guests, which was cause for consternation for me. I feel like I can't relax around new people and cope by overdrinking. To compensate and avoid making a fool of myself I tried to overeat; that backfired when P. revealed that there was more food besides the spread, as he had made pasta and gotten us a cake (even though we were not celebrating anything). I was still digesting the morning after. Despite the "strangers" in the crowd it was a pleasant night which went on until late (can't remember, but we must have left around 2am). When we got home we fell asleep right away without even undressing; I remember my wife stripping me down and making me wear a pajama sometime later during the night.
The morning after I made us pain perdu topped with black tuscan kale (cavolo nero), salmon, avocado and a poached egg. I like all recipes based around reusing something that you'd normally discard, and pain perdu is perfect for us because we regularly accumulate stale bread. After that I tested a different neapolitan pizza dough recipe than the one I mentioned in the previous entry. This one involved a lot more kneading but was a lot better: as a matter of fact, it was even better than my regular dough! The pizzas turned out really good: one had a padron chillies and sausage topping, and the other a pumpkin base, radicchio and smoked dried ricotta. I will therefore continue experimenting with this dough until I get the details right (I want it a little softer and to rise a little more); I can't wait.
Besides the pizza-making, Sunday was oddly eventful. My wife told me that V. was supposed to attend Saturday's dinner, even though she hadn't; and that nobody had been able to contact her since Saturday morning. That did not feel right. After a few more attempts to contact her by several people, we decided to go down to her place to check on her and find out what was going on - it was myself, my wife and A., who reached the place independently. It was a little after 5pm. The house (which fits 4 apartments) was silent, which was not promising. We rang the bell and knocked a number of times but nothing happened; we started to worry. V. lives in the attic so I went across the street to get a look at her roof window: it was open, but dark. I walked around the house to check for any lights (there were none) and once I came back the roof window was suddenly lit. This lifted our spirits a little, and we started shouting V.'s name out loud repeatedly. Again, nothing happened and so we started to worry again. We couldn't make sense of it: every neighbour had heard us even with their windows closed (we saw them peeking at us through the curtains), so why wasn't she? We kept shouting and ringing the bell for 20-30 minutes, until finally another tenant came to open the door (he claimed he didn't hear us because he was in the shower). We rushed upstairs and my wife started banging on V.'s door and listening for noises inbetween the knocking. I still remember how worried she looked as she said "there are no noises coming from inside the apartment". Then all of a sudden we did hear a noise, then a clacking of locks and the door opened to reveal... V. dripping wet and wearing only a towel. She looked at us confused by the commotion and told us she had just come out of the shower. We breathed a sigh of relief and cursed her for making us worry as she let us into the apartment and went to her room to get dressed. It turns out she had been asleep most of the day and had not been paying attention to her phone at all; I think we all wanted to yell at her but were too frazzled to do it, so we just enjoyed the relief. V. was apologetic and took us to a nearby pub for a couple of pints. It was a nice pub and there were a number of dogs in it.
I am keeping up with the exercises, doing 30-40 mins of light weights and squats somewhat regularly, and I can already feel the difference. Not that I have made any gainz yet (I can't unless I up the weights), but I feel like I have sort of "dusted off" my muscles; I walked up an extremely steep street and this time it didn't kill me. These small achievements are the only things that keep me motivated, because the exercising itself is just awful and will always be so. I keep imagining I have to save my unconscious wife from a fire and I need to be able to lift her and carry her outside the burning building; doing that effortlessly is my fitness goal and I am not even joking.
I have an interview this Friday; they want an 8 minute presentation on something with a preposterously vague title. It is almost insultingly vague (and plainly excessive for the position being offered), so I have had to ask around for advice. T.C., a senior I often ask for career advice, was so kind as to meet with me yesterday morning. We met at a cafè on campus and he gave me loads of pointers for the bloody presentation - bless him. He told me twice to look enthusiastic in the interview, which leads me to think I looked pretty beat; I am. Generally speaking, I am tired of being mistreated and devalued in my line of work, something which is manifesting in me sending (or fantasizing about sending) complaints left and right. I have never been like this, I usually let go of things pretty easily; but I am nearing my limit and dreaming of revenge. For instance, I am still owed feedback from my last interview, despite repeated requests. Tomorrow I'll have to send another reminder, but I am sure I will not get the feedback in time for the interview (as a matter of fact, I am starting to suspect there is something else at work and they are intentionally witholding it). I find myself wanting to burn bridges and hold intergenerational grudges, whatever the cost.
I went to the dentist today for a check-up and a cleaning. It embarasses me but in the weekends I often fall asleep before I have had the time to brush my teeth, and I only do it when I wake up briefly in the early hours of the morning (I think by body is pushing me towards biphasic sleep because deep down it knows I am just a medieval peasant); so I went in expecting cavities. Fortunately I did not have any - just badly stained teeth from all the tea and the fags. Now they are shiny again, so who cares. The dentist is a chatty fellow but this time he was weirdly on the verge of oversharing. In a conversation about books he let me know he has ADHD, which I am not sure how to feel about as a patient; also, the guy is like 60, I was not expecting those words to come out of his mouth. As he was talking to me with his tools in my mouth (a dentist's favourite), he went political on me; I don't think we do nitrous oxide in here, but I sure could have used some right then and there. On the way out I said I hoped he'd enjoy the movie he mentioned he was going to see tomorrow, and in response he started talking about how the american Democrats are compromising democracy by using the DoJ to go after Trump instead of the proper impeachment process (which is 100% true; but it was so random). He's been a good dentist so far, so I don't care; it was just odd in a funny way. Another Seinfeld-esque moment.
I went to the supermarket after the dentist and then right at the entrance to our building I bumped into my wife coming back from her own errands. It took me a second to recognise it was her under all the layers, but when I did I broke into the biggest smile. I don't know why, it's silly because I was basically home and already expecting to find her upstairs; it still made my day.