It was bitterly cold this morning and I forgot my gloves at home, so I raw-dogged my hour-long walk to work with my hands in my pockets. I usually read a book (I'm working through a Buffy novel at the moment - something light), but my hands would have frozen solid if I had tried. It was foggy too, so I just enjoyed the cozy sights. The red brick paths on the campus were icy and I nearly slipped. This would later prove to be an omen. I walked the last few meters with uneasy steps, balancing very carefully, like someone who has shat themselves. I had an early lecture in a room with a glass board, which somehow is even worse than a whiteboard - the writing is always faint on them and the markers squeak. Then I had a two hour break, and I realised that besides my gloves I had forgotten my cigarettes as well. I told myself it was a good thing after all and used the break to finalise an exam and write some emails. I had to reply to a colleague who was kind enough to check on me regarding a class I am teaching on a subject I know very little about. I worry the students can tell, but I have to admit I don't really care that much if they do. I am somewhat disengaged at this point. The colleague in question has been very nice to me and helpful, giving me material and advice; so helpful in fact that I feel bad about it, because I have to confess... I don't find her material very good. I don't know her well but she seems like an interesting character. She's crazy about football: it's my understanding she plays somewhat seriously (plays games abroad with her team) and has a side gig selling jerseys. The football thing makes me think she might be a lesbian but I don't know for sure. It would make sense, as I usually vibe with lesbians for some reason (it would be reductive to say it's because of our mutual love for pussy, but what else could it be?). She's dyslexic as well, which must make her job a lot harder. Anyway, I hope I can return her the favour at some point.
I finished with the emails just in time to have an early lunch before a string of lectures and tutorials would commence. For the first time, I brought pasta for lunch at work; I neurotically avoid doing it because I don't want people to draw a connection to my nationality and start commenting on it. I couldn't bear that kind of small talk. Luckily it was so early that the staff canteen was nearly deserted; the radio was playing Bohemian Rhapsody. I texted my wife and browsed as I ate. I came across the fact that members of the French Foreign Legion can become french citizens immediately if they get wounded in action, and this is amusingly described by the very intense “Français par le sang versé”. I admit it's a great-sounding way to put it. The pasta had been tossed with leftover pesto made from cavolo nero and I had been quite generous with the garlic, so I chewed some gum in case I had to get close to some student to answer a tutorial question. Don't want to get a reputation.
The first tutorial was quiet and uneventful, and so was the second one. I just paced up and down, answered a small handful of questions and spent the rest of the time texting the group chat of a music forum I used to frequent. It's something I only do when I really don't feel like working, and today was one of those days. Towards the end of the second tutorial I got a text from Mi. with possibly the strangest request he's ever made: he asked for a picture of myself in my office (!). The first thing I thought was that something nefarious had happened, like someone had taken over his account; on second thought, it was so strange that it was probably really him. He said it was 'just out of curiosity' but who knows what was really going on in his mind. I told him maybe later and headed for my lecture. I walked along a busy corridor bustling with students in lab coats, navigated swiftly through the crowd, and then suddenly... I fell flat on my face. I had tripped over a student who had extended their leg as they bent down to open their ground-level locker. I hadn't tripped like that in years. To my sincere surprise, I was wholly unscathed: I got up immediately with ease and my heartbeat barely changed at all. It must be the exercise I have been doing for the past month that is starting to pay off a little. I didn't even flush, but I looked at the student in disbelief and uttered “My god, man...” ready to scald him - but decided against it as he already looked mortified; so I just left. The lecture was kind of unexciting and the students looked bored out of their minds. I don't blame them, but it killed any surviving will to work I had that day. One of them even approached me after the class to ask me for additional material as, inexplicably, he was very interested in what I had talked about; but it did nothing for me. Ugh, now I have to remember to send him that material, is what I thought.
I finished my last tutorial of the day - which was also the last hour of my working week, thank God - and rushed out, the lack of cigarettes hitting me quite hard now. I spotted again the student doppelgänger of Fr., the comically weird german guy that visited our group for a year during my PhD and still hasn't left our conversations; I always get a shiver down the spine before I remember it's not really him. It adds to the student doppelgänger of my brother and the student doppelgänger of a guy who went to uni with me but was a year ahead (G.M.); strange place this one I'm working in. Anyway, despite my urge to get home I turned back because I realised I had not taken the picture for Mi.. I could not believe myself as I sat down at my desk, reopened my laptop and set the timer on my phone's camera, but I care for Mi. and decided I would just indulge him and see where it would take me. I snapped three pictures, realised to my horror that I look quite ugly from the side (which made me depressed) and sent him the last one. All that happened so far is that he replied 'Thanks'; but I don't think this story is over yet. I finally bolted out and walked home; the weather was nicer now despite a bit of wind, so I was able to read my book.
I was originally going to exercise again today, but I was tired and had exercised yesterday, so I changed my mind. When I got home I was greeted by the sight of my wife's naked legs, as she had just showered and was wearing only a t-shirt. I think she noticed the hungry looks I gave her while she was talking to me. The second thing I did (the first one was kissing her) was finally smoking a cigarette, but it didn't feel as good as it should have. I made myself a cup of tea as a pick-me-up, and it worked. There was a pizza carton sitting on the table - it was Va.'s, my wife told me, and she was coming to collect it shortly (they had been distributed at work but she has a - fragile - work-from-home arrangement). Indeed, she arrived just a little later and we offered her a can of stout, though we didn't have her favourite at hand; my wife and I split a bottle of vinho verde instead. Va. and my wife sat at the kitchen table and bitched (rightfully) about work for well over an hour, while I listened and worked on dinner in the meantime. I had decided we'd be having vegetarian to dispose of some veggies: I baked some fennel with olives, capers and anchovies, sauteed some cannellini beans with spring onions, carrot, tomato concentrate (kind of like a ragù) and pan-roasted a couple of celeriac 'steaks', to serve with some Café de Paris butter I keep in the freezer. The cooking left a wonderful smell in the kitchen, almost cake-like; it must have been a combination of the ghee I used for the celeriac, the herbs and the beans soffritto. Va. left and my wife and I had dinner watching some episodes of HIMYI, because we couldn't bear much more than that. I kissed her from time to time, and from time to time she delicately kissed me (this - not the fall - made me flush a little). We then moved to the sofa and once the current episode ended we talked about pets and about how we are going to organise all our books once we move into a proper house (we agreed by genre/alphabetical is best). Then she got ready for bed and I whipped out the laptop and started typing this entry.