Woke up at 7am along with my wife. She had to go to work; I didn't, as my semester has ended. I am momentarily free of dreadful deadlines and have spent the past couple of weeks reading, cooking, walking, going to the market, working out. My wife says I am living like a retiree and I agree; it's pretty nice. Anyway, we made coffee first of all and while she got ready I made her a sandwich for lunch, as I had forgotten to do so yesterday. When she left I had a second coffee (leftover from the day before), which I had by the window looking out at the morning scenery. I spent an inordinate amount of time deciding how to spend the day (how ironic), an interval punctuated by catching up on social media and scrolling like an addict. I always regret it and would like to drop the habit. Losing weight and working out has convinced me that I have in me the willpower to enforce positive changes like these - I just need some time to get started, is all.
Once I resolved I would start the day with a walk, I had a nibble (salmon on bread) and got dressed. I left the house around 8:45am and quickly decided upon which route to take. There is only a handful of decent ones anyway, and it can get tiresome. I chose to cross the river to the south and head towards a house we stayed at in the past. It was our second month in the country and we were desperately looking for a place to rent, our hopes growing thinner by the day. I don't think I even looked at the house as I passed it - it has barely any pleasant memories associated to it. We were in a terrible head space at the time. Now that I am writing about it however, I recall sitting at a table made of scraps in the long and narrow backyard, having a beer with my wife on a cold evening. That was nice. I remember hanging our clothes in that backyard, on a rolling drying rack installed by the upstairs tenants, covered by tarp; sometime we did it together, sometimes by our respective selves. It was a moment of cultural shock to us, as the clothes never seemed to dry. They still don't, even though we have a dryer now. I remember walking a fair distance to get to the closest supermarket, first past a chippie and then past a church; and hauling back a crate of the cheapest beers everytime. Our financial situation was terrible compared to now. I remember the upstairs neighbours' dog, a tiny ball of rage chained in the backyard which would eventually allow me to get closer - though I don't think I ever managed to pet it. I remember that during one of the slightly warmer evenings we left the kitchen window ajar and a cat snuck in. It was dark and it scared the shit out of me when I opened the door and it jumped back out.
I walked past the house, then headed north and towards the university campus. I was reading my current book, "Flush" by Virginia Woolf. I picked it up just this week, in the used bookshop close to our place. The cashier (the gay one who's nice, not the geek who gives me the cold shoulder) recommended me a book on Woolf they had, by some scholar whose name I have forgotten already; I thought about buying it for my wife, but it was a huge tome and I ultimately decided she wouldn't like it. Past the campus I headed for the only park in the city worthy of this name and sat on a bench in the shade of a tree. I read the book for a while and the air got warmer. Some days ago I was doing the exact same thing but with a different book ("The diary of a nobody", George & Wheedon Grossmith) and a tourist couple asked me for information. When people ask me "Are you a local?" I never know what to reply: technically yes, but I don't think I fully belong in here. We don't fully belong anywhere at this point in time.
While I was reading I heard a wooshing sound and spotted a heron gliding down upon the park. It landed by the pond and I quickly went after it. It was perched by the edge of the pond and it let me get close without flying away. I sat behind it on a bench and snapped some close-up pictures, then looked at it for a while. It looked back at me with its unblinking reptilian eyes from time to time. Eventually I let it be and sent the pictures to Si., my wife's best friend. She's great but we don't really talk much (I feel like I might infringe upon my wife's spaces if I did that); I send her bird memes and bird pictures here and there, because I know she likes them birbs.
I left the park and got home around 11am. I had a quick sugary snack and started working out, listening to the same history podcast I always do (I think I'm closing in to having heard every episode thrice). It's not a great arrangement but it numbs me while I do those horrible exercises. I am very surprised at my consistency: I have been exercising regularly and intensively since mid January. Weights, squats, crunches - and a whole other load of exercises I don't even know the name of. As I said, I have awakened some semblance of willpower in myself; may it serve me well in the future. It's also nice to be able to finally look at yourself in the mirror without wincing. By the time I was done it was 1pm and I had lunch before I took my shower (bread, tzatziki and a can of sardines). I did some grooming afterwards and eventually got dressed and went to the supermarket. It wasn't a very large shop but coincidentally I bought a ton of liquids and hauling it all back home was like an additional workout. I checked my emails and found out my boss had sent me an email the day before about wanting to talk to me this very day. I replied back and she scheduled a call for 4:30pm. I originally wanted to get a head start on dinner but postponed it for this reason. Ended up scrolling again as I waited, because I was too distracted for reading. My bastard of a laptop restarted itself for an update at 4:28pm and I was late for the meeting; but my boss was even later than me. My wife got home from a work event while I was waiting, and when I quickly dipped out of the living room for a kiss noticed she was wobbly - she was a bit drunk, which made me smile. The event was sort of an inauguration party for them, as they are moving into a new building. She used to work literally 2 minutes from home and this closeness lessened somewhat how much I missed her; I could easily swing by if I needed to. One day not long ago I went outside her building as she was having lunch by herself by a huge window; she looked down at me and we texted while exchanging glances and smiles like modern Romeo & Juliet. Now I can't do stuff like that anymore and it makes me sad. I don't want to make this about myself though, as the move is even worse to her. Although, I must say she is being quite resilient. It's part of a general trend, as she has made big strides in improving her mental health through therapy - I told her I am very proud of her, more than once, as I really am.
Digressions aside, my boss finally got into the call shortly before 5pm and we discussed next semester's arrangements (what to teach and such). After I closed the call I went to my wife expecting to find her waiting for me, but she was sprawled across the bed, sound asleep. She even had her glasses and a claw clip on, which I gently removed. I covered her naked legs with a blanket and put a glass of water by her bedside, then let her sleep it off.
As my wife slept off the booze, I cooked dinner. Shelled some peas, boiled them, blended them into a cream. Cleaned an artichoke. I was about to roll myself a small joint when I got a text from her, signaling to me she was awake (it said "hellooo"). I laid down on the bed with her and she told me about the event, what she drank ("did you drink a lot?" "I did my best"), about a beeping noise no one but her seemed to be bothered by. She accepted sharing the joint so I went to the kitchen to roll it and she followed me. We smoked it by the window and the sun was still way up in the sky, as we are extremely close to the solstice. She talked some more about the move to the new building. I then got back to cooking dinner and decided to open myself a bottle of Vinho Verde to catch up to my wife. Cooking took less than an hour and by 8:30pm we were eating our pasta (spaghetti with artichoke, pancetta and peas). It was very good. I ate my fruit (apricots and dates) and we had a chocolate and a madeleine for dessert. At the moment I am stilly very excited for all the stone fruits that are coming into season, so the fruit is as exciting as dessert right now. After we were done eating I washed the dishes, as we have decided upon this change in our routine. Usually we relax together after dinner and I wash the dishes before going to bed, but this means my wife often falls asleep before I even get into bed and this pains her. If I wash the dishes earlier, I will be able to get to bed before she's asleep - that's the plan. Ironically, tonight I am writing this entry and she has fallen asleep in the meantime; but at least I am laying in bed right next to her, and she can feel safe. I will keep at it - again, willpower. Use it or lose it? or whatever platitude fits.
It's quite ridiculous how much one can write about an unremarkable day. I have considered that I might just be like the foolish fictional author of the aforementioned Diary of a nobody, but his days were certainly more eventful than mine.